


Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

by Cougar88



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Anxiety, Disco, Drunkenness, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Hangover, Long One Shot, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 15:25:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11947116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cougar88/pseuds/Cougar88
Summary: Dan and Phil return to BBC Radio 1 for a special live stream throw back Thursday afternoon program.





	Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> Someone was asking about fics with disco. It took me a while to finish this. But here it is. I hope everyone enjoys.

Dan and Phil have been invited back to BBC Radio 1 for a special live stream throwback Thursday edition.  They have no idea what’s in store, except for a highly anticipated ‘Dan vs. Phil’.  Everything has been hush hush for a very long time, as the program has been carefully planned for months.

“Phil” Dan is sat next to Phil in the lounge, deciding on what to wear.  He knows they will be recorded, and he wants to be stylish, but comfortable.  Phil looks away from his laptop.  “Hmm?” he raises and eyebrow at his best friend.  “What are you wearing?” Dan asks, picking at a string on the sleeve of his hoodie.  Phil shrugs.  “Whatever is comfortable, I guess?  I don’t know.  Probably my usual, black denims and a button up” he answers, returning his attention to his laptop.

Dan thinks back to the days where his jeans nearly fell off on numerous occasions at the station.  He cringes, thinking about the time when his face almost collided with Phil’s crotch.  A deep blush threatens to spread like wildfire across his face.  Thankfully Phil doesn’t take notice.

“Same, I think.  But if they’re going to have lunch catered again, I might wear my stretchy skinny jeans.  I nearly died last time” Dan groans, rubbing his stomach in remembrance of the high-test food he consumed.  Don’t get him wrong.  He loves food!  But his digestive system gives him shit for overindulging.

“I think I may do the same then” Phil agrees, thinking about all the desserts the station brought in the last time they were there.  His stomach rumbles in anticipation.  “ _Phil!_ ” Dan squeaks, throwing his head back in laughter.  “Always thinking with your stomach” he teases his best friend further.  “Hey!  Shut up” Phil giggles.  He knows Dan is right, and it’s embarrassing.

“I wonder what they’re going to have us do?” Phil scrolls through old videos of their shows at BBC Radio 1.  “Anything is possible” Dan answers, shrugging.  What’s the worst that could happen?  Something possibly strenuous?  Flashbacks riddle both boys’ brains.  Neither want to do anything physical.  They pray to God the fans haven’t planned anything devious. 

A few days prior, Dan and Phil practice the 7 second challenge.  The day before, they spend an entire afternoon on the old Wii sports, just in bloody case.  Dan isn’t entirely sure who is in worse shape when they finish.  Phil is now sat on the sofa, fringe plastered to his forehead, gasping for breath. 

“Oh, come on!  You can’t seriously be that out of shape, Phil!” Dan puts his hands on his hips, stealthily gasping for air into his own collapsing lungs after an intense round of tennis.  “You should talk!” Phil chokes out, clutching his chest.  They really should make appointments for physicals at the clinic.  But Dan has white coat syndrome, and the last time Phil went to a doctor, he wound up leaving all flustered because the doctor was young and hot.

“I know, I know” Dan finally finds enough air to sound normal.  “But at least we got a little bit of exercise before they torture us tomorrow.  Now I just hope we don’t die” Dan laughs, slumping down onto the sofa next to Phil, who is now mopping his face with the closest throw pillow.  Poor Pikachu.  Phil nods, throwing the pillow aside.

After a few hours of scrolling through endless BBC 1 videos, the boys are at a loss, and give up.  It’s late, and they need to catch an early taxi in the morning.  Even though the show doesn’t start until 1:00, they have a meeting to attend.  You know, standard procedure, on the air rules, etcetera.  And, since there will be a live video feed to accompany the radio show, the station manager wants to go over a program rundown of sorts – minus the fine details.  At any rate, the boys are nervous, and they both retreat to their rooms for some private time to insure decent rest.

Once they finish breakfast, the boys get their showers, and throw on stretchy skinny jeans and plain loose t-shirts.  Since physical activity is a possibility, they want to be as comfortable as possible.  Especially if they’ll be eating a heavy lunch.  Based on previous experience, they agree to go light on their diets for at _least_ a week after.  They hate when they look fat on camera.  And every time they eat anything catered, it’s noticeable.

“Phil, let’s go!  The taxi will be here any minute!” Dan shouts out to Phil, wherever he is.  Phil emerges from the second floor of their flat, hopping into a different pair of jeans.  They’re tight, and Dan needs to avert his eyes to avoid the obvious – and the heat rising in his face.  Unfortunately, Dan already knows what Phil hides in his pants, no thanks to an accident in the bathroom, which involved Dan sprinting to the bathroom to find that Phil had slipped in the shower at their old flat.

“Alright, alright!” Phil huffs as he quickly zips his jeans.  Dan still can’t look.  He needs to stay focused.  And not on his long-repressed, hopeless attraction to Phil.  “Why did you change?” Dan asks as he accidentally slams the door on the way out.  “I got toothpaste on myself, and these are the only clean pair I’ve got other than those chinos” Phil blushes as he remembers how strangled he felt.  He doesn’t usually wear tight jeans.  In fact, the two pair he owns were bought as a joke and filming purposes.  Leave it to Phil, though.  Only he would get toothpaste everywhere.

The ride to the radio station consisted of bets on what will be in store for them once the program starts.  “I’ll bet dinner at your restaurant of choice that they make us do something physically strenuous” Dan suggests.  Phil contemplates for a few moments, nodding his head.  “Alright.  Then I think they’ll make us do something we’re really bad at” he says.  “But we’re already bad at physical activity” Dan counters, making the driver flinch with his boisterous laughter.  “Yeah.  I’ll give you that.  Maybe it’s trivia of some type, or…” Phil adds, thoughts trailing off when he considers the ‘or’. 

Dan recalls the traumatic experience of the online impossible quiz, and he wonders if he would be just as terrible at trivia.  “Ugh.  You’re right.  It’s a bet then.  But wait.  What’s your end of the bargain?  I offered dinner out, your choice” Dan retracted his hand.  “I’ll cook all meals for a month” Phil says.  Dan’s eyebrows practically disappear into his hairline.  _Oh, this ought to be good._   “I guess I’ll plan on losing weight, then” Dan jokes.  “Hey!” Phil shoves at Dan’s knee with his own.

Once they reach the station, anticipation and anxiety are running high.  “Here we go” Dan says, motioning for Phil to go through the automatic revolving doors first.  He hates revolving doors, and Phil always gets impatient with Dan for waiting for the right moment to pass through.  “Any day now, Dan” Phil shouts, watching Dan wait.  Dan flips his best friend the bird.  Phil laughs at his expense.

“I don’t know why you have such an issue with it.  Honestly.  I mean, how many times have we been here, Dan?” Phil teases in the elevator.  Dan rolls his eyes at Phil.  “This is us” Dan points to the panel when the elevator opens.  They head toward conference room D to meet the station manager and program director.  It’s a few minutes early, and they decide to take a few moments to check email and other messages on their phones.

“Hey boys!” the manager walks in with a caterer.  “Oh, hello!  How are you?” Phil stands up to shake his hand.  It has been a while.  He has lost a few pounds and has a new haircut.  “Good.  Good.  Yourself?” he reciprocates conversation while the caterer brings in helpers to set up a buffet.  “Oh, you know, the usual.  Gaming, filming, live streams” Phil answers, looking at Dan, who is eyeballing the caterers.  “I hear you boys had a good tour?” the caterer asks.  “OH yeah.  Very busy.  But it’s good to be home for a bit too” Phil says.

After five minutes of small talk, Dan and Phil sit back down when the program director walks in with a pile of papers.  They assume it’s all about what they’re doing at the station.  “Hi boys.  You ready for some fun today?” he asks with a smirk as he takes a seat across the table from them.  “I guess?” Dan fidgets nervously.  “Aww don’t worry.  It’s not that bad.  I hope you’re hungry.  We’ve have enough here for an army” he points at a long table at the furthest end of the room.

Phil doesn’t seem at all nervous.  He and Dan walk over to get some food as other people from the radio show start piling into the room.  Great.  More people.  Dan doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to these situations.  It’s one of the reasons he won’t ever go back to doing radio shows.  He loves the music and everything, but it’s just too many people for his limited comfort zone.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Phil says, eyeballing the sparse amount of food on Dan’s tiny plate.  Dan simply shakes his head.  “Not really hungry” he lies.  He is.  But if he eats too much, he might throw up if anything strenuous is going to happen.  “Mhm” Phil shakes his head.  “Cheer up” Phil whispers, and returns to his seat with a plate full.  Dan often wonders how Phil doesn’t blimp out from eating the way he does.  Especially the sweets.

“So, what we’re going to do today are some challenges.  Both are Dan versus Phil.  The first one will determine the outcome of the next one” the manager just starts speaking casually while everyone else eats.  He’s ruffling through the papers, smiling broadly at the rundown.  “Have you ever heard of an old game show called Name That Tune?” he asks the boys.  Dan stops chewing.  He has most definitely heard of it, and he wonders what these people are up to.  But Phil is clueless, because his mum never much cared for retro American game shows.

“Dan, I see that lightbulb blinking above your head.  Have you watched it?” the manager asks.  “My mum used to watch a few old episodes on one of those weird channels that showed foreign retro shows” he says, forcing what little food he has in his mouth, down through his tightening esophagus.  “What about you, Phil?” he turns to Phil.  Phil simply shakes his head.  “Good!” the manager claps his hands loudly.

Good???  “Boys, the first challenge has been carefully set up by our staff here” he motions to everyone in the room, including a mischievous looking program director.  His expression reminds Dan of the Cheshire cat.  “You’ll be playing our version of ‘Name That Tune’.  Once we get into the booth, there are buzzers for each of you.  The jockey will play up to 10 seconds of a song, and whoever gets it right gets a point” the manager explains animatedly.

Phil is visibly excited.  But Dan doesn’t think he stands a chance.  Surely Phil doesn’t know as much music as Dan.  Dan grew up listening to so much music, he could probably get a job at the radio station without even trying. 

“But that’s only half of it!” the manager is getting louder.  “Whoever wins the most of 20 rounds will get to choose the next challenge” he adds.  Each word he speaks is louder and high pitched.  He’s obviously got something devious planned.  It makes Dan even more giddy than he was before. 

“So, what you’re saying is there are three challenges?  The first one being name that tune?  What are the other two?” Dan folds his fingers together tightly in his lap, ready for the bomb to drop.  He’s all too familiar with the tricks these people play sometimes.  “Oh, it’s not for us to say” he grins wickedly at the boys.  Phil is next to stop chewing.

 “Then how is the winner of the first challenge supposed to choose?” Dan cocks his eyebrow suspiciously.  From all around the room, light snickering escapes the lips of the crew as they continue to eat with their heads tucked down, close to their plates.  _Oh shit._ “Well, this is where the fans play a part” he slowly begins.

 _Oh no.  The fans_.  “Since this is a live stream event, there will be a chat on our computers.  You won’t be able to see it.  Once there is a winner, we will ask the fans to come up with 2 more challenges.  We’ll create a tally, and the winner gets to choose from the top 2, based on that tally from the chat.” 

Given the fact that they know too well how the fandom is, the potential consequences of this little game are quite alarming.  Who KNOWS what the fans will make them do?  Dan turns to glance at Phil, whose hand has gone from his normal slight tremor, to full on shaking.  He puts his food down, and tucks his hand under his leg for now.  Dan’s heartbeat has picked up tempo, and he desperately needs some liquid confidence right now.

“Well, how hard can this game be?  I mean, we know a LOT of music” Dan quips up in attempt to redirect his scattered thoughts.  Why is he nervous?  He doesn’t even know what the other challenges will be yet.  How bad can it be?  Surely the radio station will put limits in place.  It’s not like they’re going to strip down to their underwear or anything crazy and uncomfortable.  “You’ll see” is all the manager says, and finishes preparing some papers for the boys to sign.

Once everyone has eaten, and all the formalities are finished, a small crew accompany Dan and Phil into their old booth.  Not much has changed, except for some equipment upgrades and new fan art.  The boys exchange suspicious looks, both wondering how long this has been in the making.  There has literally been no mention of phanart submissions anywhere on the internet.  _How sneaky._

“Boys, here are your headphones, and there are your buzzers.  Now, I’m sure you’ve seen some shows depicting buzzers like this.  Once you hear the clip, you have ten seconds to guess the song” the program manager instructs.  “Now here’s the kicker.  We are doing 70’s music” he drops the bomb.

Dan KNEW it!  He just knew this would not be a typical show.  And here they thought there would be a 7 second challenge, or they’d be made to do a race around the station, or something much more challenging.  Already feeling slight triumph, Dan rubs his hands together.  He’s ready.  But Phil, well, Dan is caught off guard when he sees Phil smiling.  _Uh oh.  I think I’m screwed._

The DJ goes into his booth to put on his headphones as Dan and Phil mentally prepare for organized chaos.  Taking a deep breath, they both put on their headphones.  Phil can’t stop shaking, and he prays to the gods that he’ll be able to hit the buzzer if he guesses songs before Dan.  Dan is much quicker with his hands, and he briefly thinks he’s going to lose, when the DJ starts.

“Good afternoon, boys and girls!” Dan jumps in his spot.  He motions to the person in the control booth to lower the volume a bit.  “Today we have a special program in store for everyone” he continues.  Dan and Phil chance another quick glance at each other, grinning nervously.  What’s the worst that can happen?  Dan still doesn’t want to think about that right now.

“Back for some competitive fun are YouTube personalities, Dan and Phil!”  The DJ continues with his spiel, explaining the rundown of the program.  Phil sees one of the computers on the other side of the booth window.  The chat is scrolling at insane speeds.  It’s faster than the chat on YouNow.  _This is nuts!_

“Get ready, boys” the DJ warns.  “The computer is loading 20 random songs from a library we downloaded.  Prepare your ears and hands” he rubs his own together as the ‘ON THE AIR’ light blinks once again.  He presses a button.  “Here’s your first song” he warns, and the music starts.  It’s just a few seconds, but Phil is confident he knows it.

The opening notes of Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Will Survive’, and Phil is smashing his buzzer, straight away with the correct answer.  _DAMNIT!_   Dan curses to himself.  He knows this song too!  But Phil was quicker.  “That’s one for Phil” the DJ exclaims.  Phil is absolutely beaming with triumph.  Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all!  He could easily win.

“Next!” the DJ shouts out.  He presses play on his computer.  Dan is more prepared this time when the first few notes of ‘Play That Funky Music’ by Wild Cherry blast across the airwaves, and into their headphones.  “PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC!” Dan shouts when he hits his buzzer.  “AWW!” Phil cries out, but giggles at Dan’s excitement.

After a few more songs, the DJ announces a brief break for Dan and Phil, and leaves Blondie’s ‘Heart of Glass’ to play through its entirety.  Dan breathes a sigh of relief.  He’s ahead of Phil, 3 to 2.  But Phil hasn’t given up.  He listens to more music than Dan realizes.  His Spotify account is loaded with retro playlists. 

“So, what do you think so far?” one of the technicians come in from the control room.  Dan gives two thumbs up, looking to Phil for agreement.  But Phil is busy shaking his booty when ‘Shake Your Booty’ by K.C. And the Sunshine Band comes on next.  Dan’s jaw nearly drops, but he contains it, looking back to the tech with a weak smile.  _Jesus Christ, Phil.  Not here._ The tech just about busts a gut with silent laughter, and he needs to leave the booth.  Dan looks to the DJ, who is also on the verge of tears.

“Aaaaannnnd we’re back!  To those who are just joining in, we have special guests in the house.  Dan, Phil, say hello to our listeners” the DJ holds his hand out toward the boys.  “Hey guys!” Phil’s voice is sing-songy, whilst Dan’s voice feels tight as he struggles to choke out “Hey”.  He needs to get a grip.  It’s just a radio show with a little competition on the side. 

“Now some of our listeners might not know, but we’re having a little traditional Dan versus Phil competition, retro style.  They’ve already listened to 5 tracks, with Dan currently in the lead, 3 to 2.  Boys, are you ready for the next round?”  The boys nod, and their hands are ready, hovering close to their buzzers.  Dan takes note of Phil’s excessive tremor, and it puts him on edge.  Why is he so nervous?  Does he really want to win that badly?  And WHY?

The first notes of ‘Stayin’ Alive’ by the Bee Gees sound across the station speakers, and Phil is a split second faster than Dan, tying it up.  Phil jumps up and down as he shouts out the correct answer.  “You are correct!” the DJ shouts.  Dan rolls his eyes.  _Okay, okay.  It’s only the sixth song.  You can do this, Howell. FOCUS._

The DJ prepares to hit play again, when Phil spots the live stream chat scrolling like crazy on the other side of the window.  It throws him off, and Dan wins the next song.  _DAMNIT!_  He keeps his cool, and redirects his focus.  _If I win this entire thing tonight, Dan will have to pay for dinner._  And at that thought, the DJ hits play again.  Phil gets it.  “YMCA, Village People!” he shouts, swinging his head sideways to lay eyes on a seething Dan.  Phil quietly taunts him with a funny face _._   Dan shoots a look back, shaking a finger at Phil, as if to say ‘You’re about to get rekt’. 

After several rounds and a few breaks, Dan and Phil are neck and neck, with Phil ahead by one song.  There are five songs left, and Dan is breaking a nervous sweat.  As much as he loves seeing how happy Phil is whenever he wins a Dan vs. Phil, is drives him mad when he loses.

Dan jumps ahead with the next two songs, and he begins to breathe a little easier.  Little does he know the fans are already submitting their challenge suggestions.  The techs can be seen at their computers, tallying, but neither of the boys realize what they’re doing.  Dan simply thinks they’re getting the last songs prepared.

“Alright boys.  It’s make it or break it time.  There are only three songs left.  Dan is ahead by two.  Phil, if you can pull off two more, you win.  If not, Dan wins.”  The DJ looks positively impish.  But the boys still have no idea.  They just want to get this over, so they can move on to the next challenge.  Both have forgotten that the fans are the ones coming up with the challenges.

“Get ready” the DJ warns, his finger hovering over the play button as he looks to see if Dan and Phil are ready.  “DANCING QUEEN BY ABBA!” Dan nearly shrieks into the microphone, bringing his fist down onto the buzzer.  _OH MY GOD, I JUST NEED ONE MORE!_   “And Dan gets this one!” the DJ exclaims, grinning ear-to-ear.  Phil seems awfully quiet and oddly confident.

“Okay guys.  Take a breath.  Dan, if you get this, you win this challenge.  If Phil gets it, you’ll go on to the very last track.  The tie breaker” his voice is serious.  Phil’s hand is shaking worse than ever as he places it over the buzzer.  Dan steadies his breathing, and nods to the DJ for the go-ahead.  The DJ hits play.

Phil shouts out the answer immediately, quickly tapping the buzzer with a shaky hand.  “Off the Wall by Michael Jackson!”  Dan’s face immediately drops, and his heart starts to pound.  “NO!” he accidentally shouts into the microphone, stomping his feet angrily.  Phil jerks his head in Dan’s direction.  “YES!” Phil giggles, and the DJ can’t help but giggle along with him.  Poor Dan.

Once the excitement calms down, the DJ sets up the last track.  “This is it, guys.  Do or die.  The tie-breaker.”  His voice reminds Dan of an announcer on some reality show he once watched.  But he can’t remember whose voice at this moment.  He slowly turns his head to look at Phil.  Phil is standing there with his eyes closed and hand already hovering over his buzzer.  _Oh shit._

Dan looks back to the DJ, places his hand over the buzzer, and nods.  “Here we go.  Name that tune” he says, and hits play.  The full ten seconds play out, and Dan can’t place it.  _Shit, NO!_ But Phil recognizes it.  He just can’t decide which artist it is.  So, he just hits the button, hoping the title is enough.  “Love To Love You Baby” he calmly speaks into the microphone.

“By?” the DJ asks, ready to hit his own buzzer to announce the winner.  A few tense moments pass, and Phil shrugs.  “Donna Summer” he calmly answers _.  50-50 chance!  It’s only a radio show.  It’s not like millions of dollars are on the line_.  Phil hangs his head.  He’s sure he has lost.  Dan can barely breathe as he looks to the DJ.

“PHIL WINS!” he shouts, and presses the button.  A disco ball starts spinning as all sorts of bells and whistles go off throughout the station.  “NOOOOOO!” Dan stomps his foot several times again, ripping off his headphones when he sees Phil doing a victory dance.  “I WON!  I WON!”  Phil’s megawatt smile puts an instant stop to Dan’s anger, and Dan’s heart skips a few beats.

Once the excitement calms down, the DJ motions for them to put their headphones back on.  “Good game, boys.  And congratulations to Phil!  But don’t forget, there’s another challenge coming up.  But first let’s take a break while we listen to some news” he announces.  He hits another button, and the weather comes on, followed by some adverts, and a brief five-minute news announcement.

Dan still has not looked at Phil since that smile made him giddy.  Now he’s scared.  What will Phil choose?  And what are the challenges?  _Both of us are way out of shape, and if he chooses something physical, I’ll die_.  “How you holding up guys?” the DJ comes around to their booth as the news continues to play in the background.  They simply nod their heads, as if to say ‘fine’.  Phil is still beaming.

But that is quickly squashed when the DJ returns to his own booth to go back on the air.  “Alright boys and girls.  As you all know, we’ve been taking challenge submissions for the past fifteen minutes.  What Dan and Phil DON’T know is that they won’t know what the challenges are” he continues.  _WHAT?_   Dan nearly gasps, and Phil’s heart skips a beat.  _What does that mean?  How will he know what he’s choosing from?  I don’t get it._

“The tallies are in, and we have it narrowed down to two very interesting challenges.  Here’s what we’re going to do.  I have two index cards here.  On each card is a different challenge, chosen from the two most suggested challenges from our live stream chat.  Our tech there will bring them to Phil, and Phil will choose one of the cards, which will be folded in half” the DJ explains. 

Dan swears this entire thing is made up, and that there really was no live stream or challenge submissions – until the DJ adds “But wait!  Let’s play a few calls from earlier while we were on news break!”  Dan and Phil are stood in front of their microphones, awaiting their doom.  Phil is less nervous than Dan, but he still can’t calm the increasing tremor in his hand.  Will it be obvious when it comes time to pick a challenge card?

The DJ hits play, and the boys hear fans talking on the phone.  They’re recorded phone calls, which came in from another room, sent to the DJ’s booth.  Dan’s heart rate picks up when he hears words like chapstick and massage.  _Why do people keep requesting that damn chapstick challenge?  I don’t get it_.  Well, he really does, but the thought terrifies him.  Whenever he sees chapstick challenge in the chat on YouNow, he plays dumb.  But right now, he attempts to push those thoughts back into the furthest corner of his brain, and he looks to the other side of the window.

The tech can be seen getting the cards from the DJ.  Other words, like makeup and trade clothes go out across the air waves, and a shiver races down Dan’s spine.  He prays to GOD they don’t have to trade clothes!  The DJ comes in, and holds out the cards for Phil to choose from.  Dan is literally holding his breath.  “Don’t open it yet.  Can we get the camera on their faces please?” the DJ requests, looking to another booth across the way.

“The moment we’ve all been waiting for” the DJ speaks up again.  Phil flinches as he’s yanked back to reality.  “Open sesame” the DJ says.  Phil’s jaw drops open.  “I… it’s” he stammers.  Through all the years Dan has known Phil, never once has he heard Phil do that.  It worries him to the point of near collapse.  “What does it say, Phil?” Dan prods his best friend, sure of what’s coming.  His breath hitches when Phil says “It looks like we’re doing the chapstick challenge”.  The DJ plays a mock cheering sound effect, and the color drains from Dan’s face.

Time seems to stand still for both boys.  The room is suddenly quiet and unrealistically small.  It’s surreal, almost.  Everything feels like it’s going in slow motion.  _What just happened?  HOW did this happen?  And why have we allowed it?  Are we really that naïve, to believe nothing would come of a secret Dan versus Phil?  And HOW are we going to do this challenge?  We’ll basically be kissing!_ are among a million thoughts racing through both of their spinning heads.

Perspiration begins to form on Phil’s back.  What has he done?  How could he have let this happen?  He has to kiss his best friend!  “And now for these messages” the DJ’s voice snaps them back to reality with a frightening jolt.  Commercials play, and the boys tear off their headphones.

Dan’s attempt to even out his breathing isn’t going so well, and Phil isn’t much better at keeping his balance.  He feels a little dizzy, and decides to sit down on a stool.  Where did that come from?  The tech must’ve brought it in.  But when?  Phil is staring off into the distance.  “Phil” Dan waves a hand in front of his friend.  “Wh.. yeah?  Oh.  Sorry” he regains a little bit of composure.

The DJ chuckles.  “Relax.  You’ve lucked out on this one.  We only have three tubes of chapstick on hand.  It won’t last long” he reassures.  _Three.  That’s three too many.  I might faint._   Dan is staring at his best friend, who has gone pale.  “Are you alright?” Dan is concerned.  _Jesus fucking Christ.  It’s not like I have rabies or something._   Phil simply nods, still not meeting Dan’s gaze.  _Look at me, damnit._   Nothing.

“You’ve got a minute to get yourselves together before we’re back on the air.  Are you sure you’re okay with this?  There’s always the other challenge if you don’t want…” but Dan cuts him off.  “No.  We’re good.  We’ll do it” he sounds confident, grinning at Phil.  Phil gasps, and finally meets Dan’s gaze.  He swoons, and Dan catches him.  “Do we have water?” Dan is shouting out for a tech.

The DJ extends the break with a few more adverts, while Phil recovers from his mini heart attack.  _Dan wants to kiss me?  Since when?_   But he can’t think about that right now.  They need to finish this show, and the challenge.  _Give the people what they want.  And then we can go home.  Home.  Alone.  Together.  Oh shit._

“Alright, boys.  We’re back on in 5, 4, 3” and he finishes with hand signals for 2 and 1.  “Welcome back, boys and girls.  Dan and Phil are still with us, and ready to move on to their second challenge to wrap up Dan versus Phil.  Phil, would you like to repeat what your challenge is?” the DJ decides to torture them just a little bit more.  _Damn them.  Damn them all._

“The fans are requesting we do the chapstick challenge” Phil’s voice cracks.  “Those sneaky fans” the DJ clucks his tongue into the microphone.  _Cheeky bastard_ Dan thinks.  He swears this entire thing is rigged.  But then he thinks back to those phone calls, and realizes it’s not.  Oh, they are so fucked.  Thank the lord it’s just a radio show!  And once it’s over, they can go home, and continue living their normal lives.  Right?

“Luckily for you, we have a few tubes of chapstick!  Many thanks to our sponsors who have sent us an astounding assortment of treats for the show.”  The DJ continues to thank the sponsors, running through a lengthy list.  “And thanks to BBC to allowing us to do this special with Dan and Phil.  Boys, we miss you here at BBC 1” the DJ looks directly at them, signaling to get ready.

“Alright, boys.  Here’s how this is going to work” the DJ begins.  More disco music is playing softly in the background.  Great.  Nothing like music to add to the memory of their first sort of kiss.  Dan is a nervous wreck, and he keeps readjusting his headphones to distract himself.   “We have blindfolds, of course” the DJ continues.  Phil’s heartbeat picks up a few notches. 

How are they going to pull this off without having a stroke?  Phil’s hands are shaking more than ever.  When the tech comes in with a paper bag containing the chapstick, he notices, and smirks, casting a knowing glance Dan’s way.  But Dan is oblivious.  He’s too lost in his panic.  Will he be able to control himself?  Phil’s lips are so full and plump, and on the rare occasion Phil bites his lip when they’re recording, Dan requires a long cool shower afterwards.

“Dan?  Are you ready?” the DJ pulls his thoughts back to reality once again, sending a slight blood pressure spike right to his head.  Dan feels like he might faint.  He doesn’t dare look at Phil.  So, he focuses on the DJ on the other side of the glass, and nods, adjusting his headphones once more.

“Alright.  Dan you’re first, at the request of the fans” the DJ smiles as the tech carefully works the elastic blindfold around Dan’s headphones.  “Now, Phil, your job is to reach into that bag and blindly choose a chapstick, apply it to your lips, and then to Dan’s” the DJ chuckles.  When Phil sighs with major relief, the DJ adds “…with your own lips, that is.  Not the chapstick itself.  And no peeking at the flavor until Dan takes a guess”.  If Phil didn’t know any better, he could swear he heard Dan whimper.  _Oh God.  Oh God Oh GOD!  PLEASE don’t react on camera.  I’ll die._

Phil reaches into the bag, and a new song comes on.  He recognizes the melody, but can’t quite nail the exact song yet – until he has applied the banana chapstick to his lips.  It’s a strong flavor.  And then the name of the tune comes to him.  “ ** _He met Marmalade down in old New Orleans, struttin’ her stuff on the street.  She said hello.  Hey, Joe.  You wanna give it a go?  Mhm, gitchie gitchie yaya dada!  Gitchie gitchie yaya here!  Mocha chocolata yaya!  Creole lady marmalade.  Voulez vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?  Voulez vous coucher avec moi?”_**

 _Oh shit!  WHY?  Why me? Why that song?!_   Phil starts trembling even more, and he’s thankful Dan can’t see it.  Especially when the DJ teases “Pucker up, Dan”.  Phil has no control of the heat rising in his face when he slowly leans into Dan.  One last quick glance at the camera before he gives Dan his first taste.  Phil holds his breath, and rubs his lips against Dan’s, leaving them there for a few seconds until Dan gets the hint. 

Dan’s heart is racing out of control before he realizes he’s supposed to taste the chapstick.  So, he takes a chance, throwing all caution to the wind, and lightly licks at Phil’s bottom lip.  Phil gasps, and flinches away before he can even form a thought.  _WHOOPS!  Please don’t hate me, Dan._  An electric jolt zips through his entire body, catching him off guard as he watches Dan lick his lips.  _CHRIST!_

“Do you have a guess?” the DJ asks Dan.  Meanwhile, Dan is concentrating so much on not having a heart attack, that he forgot the task at hand.  He considers his options, takes another lick, and guesses “Banana?” with a shaky breath.  _DAMNIT!  Calm, Howell.  CALM!_   “Phil?” the DJ waits for confirmation.  “It’s banana” Phil hesitates, doing his best to regulate his breathing and heartbeat.  _For the love of all that is secret, please don’t panic on camera.  Dan will FREAK if he realizes._

“That’s one for Dan!” the DJ exclaims, playing the cheery sound effect again.  “Phil, you’re next.  Can you please trade the blindfold and paper bag?” the DJ instructs.  The boys have a few seconds to recover for a few seconds, slowly switching the blindfold and paper bag.  Dan quickly grabs the bag from Phil, but not without brushing fingers.  Phil notices, and freezes.  “Blindfold please” the DJ startles both of them.  Everyone in the damn station are WAY too amused by all of this.  Both boys secretly promise themselves to not return to BBC 1 for a very long time. 

“Now if you get this right Phil, there will be a tie breaker” the DJ hints that this doesn’t need to continue after this round.  But as Phil places the blindfold over his eyes, he briefly – and silently – admits to himself that he really wants a tie breaker, and it makes his heart race once again.  Phil nods, and prepares himself. 

A thought occurs to Dan.  _What does the winner get?_   But before he has the chance to ask, the DJ doesn’t miss a beat, and urges Dan.  “Pick a flavor, Dan” he says, ready to press the appropriate sound effect button.  Given both boys’ level of panic, Phil momentarily considers losing on purpose.  He’s not sure if he can take another round.  But when he senses Dan closing in, he immediately reconsiders.

Before he can change his mind again, Dan’s lips are on his.  Phil quickly recovers from another zing down his spine, and he pulls Dan’s bottom lip between his own lips, slowly brushing his tongue along it.  He gets a couple of seconds of bliss when a strong cherry taste registers in his misfiring brain.  Stars cloud his blindfolded eyes, and he steadies himself by reaching out for one of Dan’s arms.

“Any guesses?” the DJ startles both Dan and Phil.  Dan needs a moment to process that his lips were on Phil’s for a second time, while Phil ponders a decision.  Hours seem to pass within a couple of seconds.  “Cherry?” Phil makes the decision to continue.  _OH FUCK._   Dan panics, turning away from the camera to compose himself.  He absolutely must not allow Phil – or the fans for that matter! – to see him in such a wrecked state. 

“Dan?  What flavor is it?” the DJ asks.  Taking a deep cleansing breath, Dan turns back to the camera, and holds the cherry chapstick up for the camera.  “It’s cherry!” the DJ plays the cheering sound effect again.  Dan is ready to throw up.  He’s on his last nerve.  And it’s about to short circuit.  There will be a lot of drinking when they get back to their flat.  And hibernation for the next month.

“Alright” the DJ continues.  He plays some intense build-up music while the boys prepare themselves.  “Boys, the flip of a coin will decide who will wear the blindfold for the tiebreaker.  Whoever wins this challenge will go home with a year of unlimited Spotify, courtesy of BBC 1 Radio, and a year of free groceries from Tesco!”  Dan’s heart flips over, landing with a sickening thud in his stomach.  _It doesn’t matter who wins.  They know we live together, which means this was planned.  DAMN THEM!_  

“Phil, you flip a coin.  Dan, you call it” the DJ instructs.  Phil digs into his pockets for a coin, not thinking.  “Um” he feels stupid as the tech hands him a coin.  Phil grins sheepishly, taking the coin into his hand.  “Tails” Dan nearly stutters, but keeps control of his nervous tongue.  Phil flips the coin up in the air, and it lands on tails.  Dan wins, which means Phil must wear the blindfold again.

Either way, they still need to ‘kiss’ one more time.  “Dan, this is it” the DJ sounds so serious, yet enthusiastic.  _What are they playing at?!_   Phil takes a deep breath, and puts his blindfold back on.  Dan just wants to get this over with so he can go home and proceed to get shitfaced.  It’s going to take weeks, if not months, for the feeling of Phil’s sweet lips on his to quit torturing him.

“Yeah, I know” Dan is now resolute.  It confuses the DJ a bit, and he frowns.  The music starts, and Dan empties the paper bag of the last chapstick.  Disregarding the ‘rules’, Dan sneaks a peek at the flavor.  _CHEESE?!?!  Phil better not puke!  Oh God._   Dan applies the chapstick, and takes a deep breath, leaning in toward Phil one last time.  He prays Phil doesn’t recognize it.  Why would they do this?  Surely, they know about Phil’s aversion?  But Phil is clueless.  He is sat there, waiting, lips puckered.  Time seems to slow down again as Dan closes the space between them.  Phil’s lips are just too inviting.  It stirs something in Dan’s stomach, and before he knows it, he’s grasping at Phil’s shoulders, full on kissing his best friend.

Somewhere in the distance, they can hear a wolf whistle.  But that is the least of their concern.  They’re busy sucking at each other’s lips, exchanging flavored wax, tasting, wanting.  “Time’s up!” the DJ interrupts, activating the buzzer sound effect.  “Do you have a guess, Phil?” the DJ sounds absolutely pleased with himself. 

It takes Phil a few seconds to regain his bearings before he can even think to guess what flavor Dan just smashed into his lips.  He SWEARS sparks are flying around his fuzzy head.  For a moment, the taste seems pleasant.  But the more he licks his lips, the more he realizes he feels nauseous.  _BLARGGGHHH!_   “Is that … CHEESE?” he gags, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.  Dan explodes with laughter, nearly losing his balance.  Phil’s reaction breaks the tension for Dan. 

“Well at least one of you has some sense of humor through this entire episode.  Phil, you are the winner!” the DJ plays familiar bells and whistles.  Phil slumps with relief, taking a deep breath.  He can’t wait for the program to end, so he can head into the lounge for a drink to wash away that taste.  God DAMN them!

After a much needed break, Dan and Phil finish the afternoon program with a short retro playlist, and head home.

The taxi ride back to their flat is uncomfortably quiet.  What is there to say?  They were literally tricked into that damned chapstick challenge, and now, they can’t stop thinking about it.

Phil is sat on his side of the back seat, practically hugging the door, out of fear he might reach out for Dan’s hand.  He desperately wants to talk about what happened.  But he doesn’t want to make Dan nervous.  So he opts to keep to himself, dwelling on the memory of Dan’s lips on his.  The feel of them.  Soft and inviting.  Shit.

Dan might as well be lost in another dimension.  He’s so lost in his own panicked thoughts, it takes him several seconds to realize that both Phil and cab driver are talking to him.  “Dan.  We’re HOME” Phil touches his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.  “O… OH” he stutters, blinking rapidly before reaching for his wallet.  “I already paid” Phil says, opening the door. 

Both are mentally spent, and retreat to their rooms for the night.  It’s going to take some time to process what happened at the radio station, let alone discuss it.  Sleep will be difficult. 

After hours of tossing and turning, Dan heads down to the kitchen for that wine he was thinking about earlier.  Quick consumption makes him dizzy, and he stumbles his way back to bed, praying for death.  Or a dreamless sleep, at least.  What will he say to Phil in the morning?  At 5:00, exhaustion finally takes its toll, and he falls into a deep sleep.

Phil on the other hand, opts for torture, and just lies there in his bed.  He replays the chapstick challenge in his head, almost to the point of breaking.  He’s on the verge of knocking on Dan’s door, until he hears snoring.  Dan never snores.  He must’ve had a few drinks.  Phil does an about face, and heads into the kitchen, where he finds an open bottle of wine. 

He stares at it for a few long minutes, and decides sleep is more important.  He has never cared for this type of self-medicating.  But he’s desperate.  He and Dan are supposed to film The SIMS in a few short hours.  He doesn’t see it happening if sleep keeps evading either of them.  And since Dan is passed out cold, he needs to rectify the situation soon. 

Replicating Dan’s previous quick consumption practice, he staggers on the spot.  “WHOA.  Big mistake” he speaks to the air, steadying himself against the kitchen sink until he regains enough balance to return safely to his room.  Phil is clumsy under sober circumstances, and he’s afraid this will end badly as he bumps his way along the walls.  An idea for his next Amazing Phil video comes to him as he stubs his foot in the door jamb of his room.  “OW” he grunts, miraculously hopping his way to his bed.

Phil doesn’t remember when or how he got to sleep, but when he wakes, it’s well past noon, and his window is open for some reason.  He welcomes the cool breeze on his mildly hungover face as he slowly sits up.  Unfortunately, he discovers that he left his contact lenses in, and whimpers “Not again.  Why me?”.

After a half hour of torture, he finally has his contacts out, and in the bin.  They’re ruined.  As are his eyes once again.  Luckily, he has leftover medication from the last time this happened.  Sometimes he wonders why he bothers with contacts, until he sees his own nerdy reflection in the mirror.  “Why am I so ugly?  Nobody will ever want you with those glasses, Phil” he speaks to his own reflection, shaking his head.

 _Time to attempt some food_ he thinks, gingerly shuffling toward the kitchen.  As he approaches, he smells coffee.  _GLORIOUS COFFEE.  YES!_   But that means Dan is in the kitchen.  _Oh God.  Here we go.  Will he remember anything?_   He drank enough wine to erase his entire family’s memories, for God sake. 

He takes a deep breath, and steps into the kitchen.  Dan must sense him, because he turns around to face Phil, who gasps at Dan’s puffy red face.  “Are you okay?” Phil moves to get a better look.  But Dan takes a step back, backing into the counter.  Dan looks like a raccoon who hasn’t slept in years.  His eyes are red, and the hand that holds a cup of coffee is trembling. 

“No.  I’m not.  I slept like shit” Dan answers, ducking into his coffee cup for a long sip, avoiding eye contact with Phil.  Even though he can’t remember much, he’s sure it’s something unbearably awful that made him binge on the wine that has him so fucking hungover.  Quite frankly, he just wants to die right now.  “But you were snoring when I got up for the bathroom earlier” Phil cautiously took another step toward Dan.    

Dan freezes, smashing himself against the counter as much as possible, making his lower back pop in several places.  He must’ve really slept bad if his back is doing THAT.  “Doesn’t mean I slept well” he looks at the empty wine bottle, silently begging his stomach not to hurl his coffee back out.  That would be horrific.  Especially since Phil would be the immediate recipient of his stomach content.

Phil nods, and gives Dan his space so he can pour a cup of coffee.  He isn’t in nearly as bad shape as Dan is.  “I take it filming is out of the question today?” Phil asks, taking a slow sip.  Thankfully his stomach doesn’t lurch, and he takes a few more sips, considering what he might eat.  He decides to keep it light, opting for crumpets and an apple.  At least until he’s more confident that he won’t regret that choice. 

Dan nods, and sits down at the breakfast bar, rubbing his temples.  He doesn’t quite trust his stomach to speak a lot, so he rubs his stomach next, hoping Phil gets the hint to leave, just in case.  Phil takes note, and grabs his apple.  Crumpets will wait until Dan is less nauseous.  “I’ll leave you to it then.  I’m going into the lounge to watch the news” Phil says.

 _News?  Phil never watches the news.  Great.  He doesn’t want to be near me.  Was it that awful?  He must think I’m repulsive.  Do I have bad breath?_  Tears spill down his cheeks as he replays the chapstick challenge in his reeling mind.  Phil’s lips had felt so damned good, it was the only thing he could think about last night as he was tossing and turning beneath his covers.

The desire to kiss Phil has always been in the forefront of his pathetic mind since the day he first discovered Phil on the internet, right up until their lips finally touched yesterday.  And now that his wish was granted – no thanks to BBC Radio 1, thank you very fucking much – he’s absolutely terrified. 

When he thinks back to the expressions of all the crew, he is instantly angered.  _Why would they do such a thing?_   Don’t they know how fragile Dan is?  Don’t they realize they might have jeopardized EVERYTHING, for the sake of fucking entertainment?  _Things will never be the God damned same again!_

With that thought, Dan runs to the sink, and empties his stomach with a violent heave.  It shakes his body into a cold sweat as he repeatedly wretches, until there’s nothing left, and he slumps onto the floor.  Thankful it’s finally over, he hugs the cool tile with a final desperate sob, and curls up into the fetal position as exhaustion consumes him.  The room spins, and everything becomes a silent black nothingness.

Phil can’t concentrate on the news.  Something doesn’t feel right in his gut, so to speak.  He’s worrying too much about Dan.  _Is he just having another one of his existential crises?  Is this all about what happened yesterday?  Could Dan be angry because he figured out I wanted to win?  Oh God.  I should check on him.  There’s no telling what he could do in a panic.  But what kind of panic?  It was just an innocent kiss!_   Phil doesn’t know, but he knows he needs to get to Dan straight away.

What he does know is that the kiss meant a lot to him.  He had felt a surprising urgency in Dan’s lips.  And the way he grasped at Phil for the last kiss spoke volumes.  Until they had gotten into the taxi, Phil was certain it was a possible breakthrough for them, and that maybe Dan felt the same way he has felt about Dan all along. 

Had it not been for a huge setback in 2012, Phil would’ve made his move back then.  But, out of respect for Dan and their friendship, he instead opted to suffer in silence, waiting for Dan to discover himself.  But now that they’ve gotten a tiny taste, so to speak, things could be at risk.  This realization is the only thing Phil can think of for Dan being in this condition today.  There’s no other explanation.

“OH MY GOD, DAN!” Phil gasps when he discovers his best friend is unconscious on the kitchen floor.  “Oh God, please.  Don’t be dead.  Dan” Phil chokes back tears, stooping to check for a pulse.  _Oh thank God!  He’s alive.  He must’ve gotten sick._   Tears begin to pool in Phil’s eyes as he cleans Dan up enough to lift him into his arms.  “Let’s get you to bed” he whispers, struggling to keep from dropping Dan.  _Why do people always weigh a ton when they’re passed out?_

He needs to get Dan out of his foul-smelling clothes, wash him down and get him under the covers.  Phil suspects Dan will probably sleep for at least a good four hours.  Thinking back to the wine bottle, Phil wonders briefly if Dan gave himself mild alcohol poisoning.  Come to think of it, what little amount Phil drank wasn’t enough to make him very hungover.

Phil gently deposits Dan into his bed, and sets about removing his clothes.  He smells bad.  And Phil is certain Dan won’t like waking up to such a stench that could possibly start the whole sick process all over again.  Before going to the bathroom for a small washtub, a cloth and towel, Phil checks Dan’s breathing.  He’s out cold.  World war three probably won’t wake him from his current state. 

Sudden insecurities plague Phil as he cares for his best friend.  Dan has never been sick before.  Will he be embarrassed once he recovers?  Will he even remember?  Dan is sweating profusely as Phil works diligently.  Phil assumes this is his body dumping the rest of any toxins leftover from the wine.  Repeated washing is the only remedy. 

Once the sweating has stopped, Phil decides that it’s best to stay with Dan.  Just in case.  He quickly heads into his room for a book and his pillow, and quickly returns to Dan’s room to settle next to him.  Once he’s sure Dan is comfortable under a light sheet, Phil stretches his legs out, and leans back with his book.  But the stress of the situation quickly takes a toll on Phil.  He falls asleep just a few pages into his book.

Phil’s light snoring briefly rouses Dan from sleep.  He feels so shitty, he doesn’t even think to panic, or even wonder why Phil is sleeping alongside him.  He slowly turns on his side to get more comfortable, smiles, and pulls the covers completely over their bodies.  _Phil, Phil.  What am I going to do with you?  Something must’ve scared him, and he came to me for comfort._   Dan wrapped a loose arm around Phil’s waist, and went back to sleep.

When Phil opens his eyes, he momentarily forgets where he is, until he attempts to move.  Dan’s arm is still around him, and he carefully shifts to face his best friend.  Phil had forgotten to close the blinds, and late night moon is shining on Dan’s face.  He looks angelic, and Phil is tempted to reach out.  “My God, you’re so beautiful” he whispers, kissing his hand to gently touch Dan’s pale cheek. 

Phil is relieved that Dan isn’t sweating anymore.  He seems to be resting more normally.  Phil places his hand over Dan’s and closes his eyes.  _Maybe this will all pass tomorrow_ is Phil’s last thought before happy dreams take over his exhausted mind.

Dan hears birds in the distance.  _Who opened the window?_   He can’t complain though.  There’s a comfortable breeze.  But something makes his half-awake thoughts pause.  _Someone is in my bed_.  He opens his eyes to find Phil facing him, still asleep, with his arm stilled laced around his own arm around Phil.

 _Wait a minute.  Phil stayed with me all night?_   Dan slowly recalls how sick he was yesterday, and he inwardly groans.  _Oh no.  He’s really going to hate me for my bullshit.  I can’t imagine … WAIT.  I’m undressed?_   Dan gasps, fighting the urge to not cringe away from Phil.  _He undressed me.  Or, did I do it myself?_   _Oh God_.  Dan sighs and closes his eyes.  _No.  I won’t do this to myself again.  He doesn’t want me._

Phil senses something in his sleep, and he immediately opens his eyes to check on Dan, who is stock still, staring back with huge frightened saucers.  “Dan?  Are you feeling any better?” Phil ‘accidentally’ tightens his grip on Dan.  _Whoops_.  Dan’s heart flutters in time to his nervous eyelids.  He can’t find any words, so he just nods.  “Thank God.  You had me worried sick” Phil breathes a sigh of relief.  “Please don’t talk about sick” Dan groans.  “Sorry” Phil truly feels bad.

An awkward silence thickens the air between them.  But neither one removes their hold from the other.  They feel safe like this.  Reassured, yet still scared.  “Phil, I..” Dan begins.  But Phil reaches with his free hand to put a finger on Dan’s lips.  “You don’t have to say anything, Dan.  Not a single word.  Not right now, anyways.  Can we just enjoy this for a bit longer?” Phil pleads with his eyes.  He just wants to keep holding Dan forever.  Dan takes a long deep breath and agrees.  “Alright.”  He chances to move closer to Phil, who doesn’t argue one bit.

“What happened yesterday?” Phil finally asks after several moments pass without either one saying a word.  He’s still concerned about his best friend.  “I … I guess I kind of freaked out the other night, and drank too much wine” he groaned at the memory of getting sick in the kitchen sink.  “I’m so sorry” he apologizes, realizing how much Phil has cared for his sorry ass over the past 24 hours.

“Sshhh” Phil stops him, pulling him closer, hopefully getting the message across.  “Wasn’t it obvious when you kissed me on the third round?” Phil asks, circling his thumb on Dan’s cheek.  He wants so badly to kiss Dan, but he must exercise patience.  He has waited this long.  What difference will a few more minutes make? 

“But” Dan falters.  “We were on CAMERA” he breathes out, closing his eyes at the memory.  “I know.  But does it really matter?  We’re here now.  Together.  In your bed, with our arms around each other” Phil pulls him closer, making his body flush with Dan’s.  “But, our families.  And the FANS” Dan makes one last attempt at an excuse for overreacting to everything.  He can’t help it.  He comes from a long line of overreactors.  It’s what they do best.

“What about them?  This is us.  This is OUR lives.  What we do is our business.  We are adults.  We earn our own money.  Why should it matter how we lead our personal lives, or what people say about it?” Phil continues to trace Dan’s facial features with a trembling thumb, stopping at his bottom lip.  He can’t stop staring at it, still waiting for Dan’s cue.

Dan thinks back to all the times the Lester family has welcomed him into their home, and on multiple holidays, without question or judgement.  They’ve treated him more like family than his own family has.  Martyn is like a brother to him.  “Remember, Dan.  Our house is yours.  If you ever need a place…” Dan can still hear Mrs. Lester’s voice.  He was only nineteen at the time, when Phil was helping him get started on YouTube.

Phil is his world, and he’d hate to do anything to fuck it all up.  But then he thinks of all the dumb things he has done.  Flunking out of uni was not an easy thing to move on from.  But Phil was always there to support him.  And when he got separated from Phil in Japan because he got distracted at Nogi Shrine Market.  That was the absolute worst.  But when they finally found each other, he never wanted to lose Phil again.

“I’m so sorry” Dan says again, nearly choking on the hard lump in his throat.  Phil sighs.  “For what?” he asks.  Dan leans his forehead against Phil’s, closing his tear stained eyes.  “For making you wait” he whispers, leaning in to finally kiss Phil properly.

When they break for air, Phil can’t resist his next words.  “So, about that dinner” he giggles, and Dan shuts him up with another kiss.  When they finally tire out, Phil continues.  “Does that mean I’m going to starve?” Phil giggles.  “Shut up” Dan giggles back, tucking his weary head under Phil’s scruff laden chin.

“I love you” Phil whispers, closing his eyes once more.  He doesn’t care if Dan says it back or not.  The fact that he isn’t moving from Phil’s arms says enough.  Dan’s deep sigh is a mixture of relief, contentment, and exhaustion.  It grants him a few more seconds before he finally musters enough courage to answer Phil with a soft “I love you, too”.  


End file.
